Let's get it on.
Ok, time to talk about sex.
First, let's get the disclaimers out of the way. I am by no means an expert on this subject. I believe that sex is a skill (kinda like bowling). It is simple to do, but difficult to learn to do well or to master (also like bowling). As much as modern advertising likes to laud guys prowess in this area, I am really quite the prude. I am a guy, so I may THINK about sex pretty regularly (my wife likes to joke that my theme song is A.D.I.D.A.S. by Korn), but the truth is that I'm probably a lot more like this cute little rabbit here.
But not being an expert doesn't mean I don't have some big-time opinions on the subject (that's never stopped me before, and I'm not about to slow down now). Here's the short version.
I do believe that pre-marital sex is fine, so long as you are committed to you partner for life.
Now, how the heck can you be committed to that partner for life if you're not married? Well, it's possible, and I've seen enough examples to be convinced, but by-and-large most people have not fully committed themselves and taken that plunge until they've signed on that dotted line on the certificate. They're usually not fully into it until they've stood in the house of God, in front of everyone that means anything to them, and made their promises to be faithful to one another until death do they part. I believe this strongly enough (and my wife agreed) that we didn't have sex until our honeymoon following our wedding, which was held almost a FULL YEAR AFTER we were legally married. Again, this is my feeling on the subject, your mileage may vary. Why do I feel this way? Well, I'm glad you asked!
Remember the 3 parts of people I wrote about before? The mind, body, and spirit? I knew you did! Well, people can bond on any of those 3 levels to varying degrees. Have you ever had a friend that you totally connected with intellectually, but wasn't the least bit interested in physically? Or someone you though was totally hot physically, until they opened their mouth and convinced you they were a lunatic? Everyone has. More rare are those that bond on 2 of the 3 levels. Someone who's mind and body you truly enjoy and admire, but totally disagree with spiritually. Or some other combination there-in.
The rarest form of attractions are people who bond on all 3 levels. They find each other intoxicating in mind, in body, and in spirit. When people bond that closely, and get to know each other that well, that is invariably when they have the best sex! Why is that? Because sex is nothing more than a natural bonding most closely in the physical world. It is the closest 2 human beings can be to each other in this life, a bond that strong on the physical side will invariably spill over into the mind and spirit as well.
Now I have to be careful to be clear, because I'm going to sound like I'm going to contradict myself. On the one hand, sex is really not nearly as important as modern American advertising and society make it out to be. It is a part of life, but not THAT big a part. Is it entirely possible to live your entire life and never experience sex, and the life will still be fulfilling. I truly wish more people would recognize the ultimate trap that advertising lures people into. The realm of fantasy is always better than the reality, and the costs and consequences are always higher than advertised. Sex should be no more than a part of a healthy lifestyle, but by NO means should it be an end unto itself. Something to be attained by any means necessary. It just isn't worth it. Like everything else this journey we call life, it is the journey that is important, not the destination.
Now, having said all that, on the other hand, I also believe that sex is the most powerful act a human being can partake in. It is the closest we come to God, and this is the one thing we can do that will actually CREATE LIFE! Now that's power! (I'm going to leave modern science for a future entry, thank you) Additionally, in my opinion again, there is no way possible to share in a bonding this powerful and complete with someone, and not be changed forever. It's kind of like combining water and flour together. You get something totally new, and good luck separating them back to water and flour again. Every time you share your body, mind, and soul with someone on that level, you will carry a piece of them with you for the rest of your days. Thus I would highly recommend that the person you share it with be someone you hold in the highest regard. The rank of 'soulmate' sounds about right (and I don't use that word flippantly, I mean that should be the standard).
So that, in a nutshell, is my view on the world of sex. It isn't as big a deal as it is made out to be, yet at the same time is so much more important than anything else you can do with another person. I know that doesn't make a lot of sense, but I'm talking on an individual level here. For one person's mind, body and spirit, sharing that with another person is a powerful experience. So powerful it can create a 3rd person. If you hold a high measure of respect for yourself and what you stand for, you will only share that much of yourself with someone you hold that same measure of respect. The 'two flesh become one' in so many ways and on so many levels, that it really isn't a good idea to enter into this flippantly. Conversely, if you don't hold a high measure for yourself, and you use sex a tool to try to fill a void or gain some sort of false sense of importance (and it is very good at both of those), well . .. then you get a lot of the troubles seen in most families today.
I hope that makes some sense, and holds consistently with the rest of my entries in this blog. Some other time I'll delve a little more into the Fantasy vs. Reality argument a little more as well.
First, let's get the disclaimers out of the way. I am by no means an expert on this subject. I believe that sex is a skill (kinda like bowling). It is simple to do, but difficult to learn to do well or to master (also like bowling). As much as modern advertising likes to laud guys prowess in this area, I am really quite the prude. I am a guy, so I may THINK about sex pretty regularly (my wife likes to joke that my theme song is A.D.I.D.A.S. by Korn), but the truth is that I'm probably a lot more like this cute little rabbit here.
But not being an expert doesn't mean I don't have some big-time opinions on the subject (that's never stopped me before, and I'm not about to slow down now). Here's the short version.
I do believe that pre-marital sex is fine, so long as you are committed to you partner for life.
Now, how the heck can you be committed to that partner for life if you're not married? Well, it's possible, and I've seen enough examples to be convinced, but by-and-large most people have not fully committed themselves and taken that plunge until they've signed on that dotted line on the certificate. They're usually not fully into it until they've stood in the house of God, in front of everyone that means anything to them, and made their promises to be faithful to one another until death do they part. I believe this strongly enough (and my wife agreed) that we didn't have sex until our honeymoon following our wedding, which was held almost a FULL YEAR AFTER we were legally married. Again, this is my feeling on the subject, your mileage may vary. Why do I feel this way? Well, I'm glad you asked!
Remember the 3 parts of people I wrote about before? The mind, body, and spirit? I knew you did! Well, people can bond on any of those 3 levels to varying degrees. Have you ever had a friend that you totally connected with intellectually, but wasn't the least bit interested in physically? Or someone you though was totally hot physically, until they opened their mouth and convinced you they were a lunatic? Everyone has. More rare are those that bond on 2 of the 3 levels. Someone who's mind and body you truly enjoy and admire, but totally disagree with spiritually. Or some other combination there-in.
The rarest form of attractions are people who bond on all 3 levels. They find each other intoxicating in mind, in body, and in spirit. When people bond that closely, and get to know each other that well, that is invariably when they have the best sex! Why is that? Because sex is nothing more than a natural bonding most closely in the physical world. It is the closest 2 human beings can be to each other in this life, a bond that strong on the physical side will invariably spill over into the mind and spirit as well.
Now I have to be careful to be clear, because I'm going to sound like I'm going to contradict myself. On the one hand, sex is really not nearly as important as modern American advertising and society make it out to be. It is a part of life, but not THAT big a part. Is it entirely possible to live your entire life and never experience sex, and the life will still be fulfilling. I truly wish more people would recognize the ultimate trap that advertising lures people into. The realm of fantasy is always better than the reality, and the costs and consequences are always higher than advertised. Sex should be no more than a part of a healthy lifestyle, but by NO means should it be an end unto itself. Something to be attained by any means necessary. It just isn't worth it. Like everything else this journey we call life, it is the journey that is important, not the destination.
Now, having said all that, on the other hand, I also believe that sex is the most powerful act a human being can partake in. It is the closest we come to God, and this is the one thing we can do that will actually CREATE LIFE! Now that's power! (I'm going to leave modern science for a future entry, thank you) Additionally, in my opinion again, there is no way possible to share in a bonding this powerful and complete with someone, and not be changed forever. It's kind of like combining water and flour together. You get something totally new, and good luck separating them back to water and flour again. Every time you share your body, mind, and soul with someone on that level, you will carry a piece of them with you for the rest of your days. Thus I would highly recommend that the person you share it with be someone you hold in the highest regard. The rank of 'soulmate' sounds about right (and I don't use that word flippantly, I mean that should be the standard).
So that, in a nutshell, is my view on the world of sex. It isn't as big a deal as it is made out to be, yet at the same time is so much more important than anything else you can do with another person. I know that doesn't make a lot of sense, but I'm talking on an individual level here. For one person's mind, body and spirit, sharing that with another person is a powerful experience. So powerful it can create a 3rd person. If you hold a high measure of respect for yourself and what you stand for, you will only share that much of yourself with someone you hold that same measure of respect. The 'two flesh become one' in so many ways and on so many levels, that it really isn't a good idea to enter into this flippantly. Conversely, if you don't hold a high measure for yourself, and you use sex a tool to try to fill a void or gain some sort of false sense of importance (and it is very good at both of those), well . .. then you get a lot of the troubles seen in most families today.
I hope that makes some sense, and holds consistently with the rest of my entries in this blog. Some other time I'll delve a little more into the Fantasy vs. Reality argument a little more as well.
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