Happy Birthday to me . . . ..
I'm old.
I have now spent a glorious 32 years in this existence. I can only remember about 24 of those years though, which might explain a lot about my maturity level (and my sense of humor). But, as the old saying goes, "You're only as old as you feel". And guess what? I don't feel a day over 106! I'm heavier than I've ever been in my life (and it ironically doesn't look as bad as I thought, although I think I've hit max capacity now, and it's all downhill from here). I have a hard time getting out of bed in the bed in the morning (although that could just be due to my not liking mornings, and my stomach getting upset when I move too quickly). And I can tell I'm growing a lot more hair from my nose, and much less hair from head.
This last one I can at least accept with a measure of stoicism. I'm part black, and bald heads and hairy noses generally look good on black men. That, and the fact that I've already suckered some hot babe into marrying me for the rest of my natural life, so who am I gonna try and impress? Heh! Bring on the nose hairs! (Sorry honey. The good news is that statistically, I'll die first, and then you'll be free to marry a younger man . . . . again! heheheh)
I also get to consider going to the doctor for the first time in 6 years for an 'annual check-up'. Ok. There. I considered it. I am a man, like any other man. And that is why I won't have any foreign objects going up my @$$. I really should consider getting my sight and hearing checked though. I can barely understand my lovely wife sometimes when she claims she's speaking to me. I also put on a co-workers eyeglasses for fun one day a month ago, and I could see BETTER! That can't be good. I wonder if my health insurance includes a vision plan? I could ask my wife, but I wouldn't be able to hear her response.
Another thing to consider is that at the ripe old age of 32, I now have more years than there are days in the calendar. When I first heard of this, I thought it was silly, but now I remember it everytime I look at the calendar, and I think so myself, "Self, dang you're old". Oh well. At least I don't have to get up in the middle of the night to go to the rest room yet.
That'll be next year.
I have now spent a glorious 32 years in this existence. I can only remember about 24 of those years though, which might explain a lot about my maturity level (and my sense of humor). But, as the old saying goes, "You're only as old as you feel". And guess what? I don't feel a day over 106! I'm heavier than I've ever been in my life (and it ironically doesn't look as bad as I thought, although I think I've hit max capacity now, and it's all downhill from here). I have a hard time getting out of bed in the bed in the morning (although that could just be due to my not liking mornings, and my stomach getting upset when I move too quickly). And I can tell I'm growing a lot more hair from my nose, and much less hair from head.
This last one I can at least accept with a measure of stoicism. I'm part black, and bald heads and hairy noses generally look good on black men. That, and the fact that I've already suckered some hot babe into marrying me for the rest of my natural life, so who am I gonna try and impress? Heh! Bring on the nose hairs! (Sorry honey. The good news is that statistically, I'll die first, and then you'll be free to marry a younger man . . . . again! heheheh)
I also get to consider going to the doctor for the first time in 6 years for an 'annual check-up'. Ok. There. I considered it. I am a man, like any other man. And that is why I won't have any foreign objects going up my @$$. I really should consider getting my sight and hearing checked though. I can barely understand my lovely wife sometimes when she claims she's speaking to me. I also put on a co-workers eyeglasses for fun one day a month ago, and I could see BETTER! That can't be good. I wonder if my health insurance includes a vision plan? I could ask my wife, but I wouldn't be able to hear her response.
Another thing to consider is that at the ripe old age of 32, I now have more years than there are days in the calendar. When I first heard of this, I thought it was silly, but now I remember it everytime I look at the calendar, and I think so myself, "Self, dang you're old". Oh well. At least I don't have to get up in the middle of the night to go to the rest room yet.
That'll be next year.
Comments
Happy Birthday old pal, I'm sure you can get Miracle Ears fairly cheap now days.
*duck*