Answering 'The Call'
During my latter high school years, I was waaaaaaaaay into church activities. By this I mean that I participated in bible studies and prayer meetings at school, went to church events and youth group events every weekend, held a weekly Bible study at church, participated in a state wide Episcopal church movement called Happening one weekend every 6 months (not including planning meetings), represented the Diocese of Arizona to the Western Regional Youth Conference twice, and attended the nation wide Episcopal Youth Event in Helena Montana.
Pwew. I get tired just thinking about it. I found myself driving back and forth to Phoenix almost every 2 or 3 weekends, which was exhausting, and sometimes stressful as heck (my vehicles weren't very reliable, and tended to break down a lot, which in the desert is no fun). But it kept me busy doing something positive, and kept me out of the hood, so it was good.
A funny thing happened the Summer after my junior year. The day after school, I left for the Episcopal Youth Event (or EYE as we liked to call it), and got to participate in 19 hour drive to Helena Montana with 16 people in a 15 passenger van. The event was 10 days long, and was followed by the drive back. If I start getting into everything that I learned and every major event of that trip, this blog will be at least 3 times as long as all the other entries combined, so we'll just stick to 1 interesting thing.
At this event, there was a priest speaking to about 1500 of us (half of the entire attendance at the conference) about the future of the church's priesthood. He said it was a shame that we traditionally promoted our best priests to bishops. The bishop positions are mostly administrative, and less directly addressing congregations and people. Both 'tend to the flock' in their own ways of course, but the best priests get to BE the best at what they do from doing such a good job with people. Taking them away from people and putting them behind a desk seems like a terrible idea to this speaker, and he told us all about it.
When I heard this, I thought to myself. I said "Self, you tend to be good both with people and with logistics, you could probably do a good job in either capacity". Keep in mind this is happening about the same time as college applications and kids are trying to find a path for themselves in this world. This possibility seemed interesting, but unlikely, because at the time I had decided I wanted to be a judge. The fact that I would probably have to be a lawyer first was very discouraging, but I had spent a lot of time mediating disputes thought my life, and felt that my gift was to be a judge and make my living that way.
So that night I went to sleep (on my sleeping bag), and prayed as usual. Then something strange happened. I felt light. I don't know how else to describe it. I could feel a radiance in the room centered on me, and when my eyes were closed my eyelids looked gold, but when I opened my eyes I couldn't see anything different, but I could still FEEL the light. Not only that, but I could sense everything in the room. Every piece of furniture, every rug, every lightbulb, I could sense exactly where it was. It was the single strongest presence of God I've ever felt in my life, and I was totally awake.
So now I know I'm praying, and I know I'm not alone. I feel like I'm about to get a really clear message, and say in my prayer, "I'm here Lord", and I get ready for some serious direction. I'm excited and scared and everything, but I'm ready.
Nothing happens. The feeling fades after what felt like 30 mins but was probably no longer than 120 seconds in real life. So now I'm just confused. I stand up, get a glass of water, go outside and look at the stars, then go back to bed, and eventually fall asleep. Ok, whatever I think. I guess I'm not very good at listening to God yet I figure.
But when I get home, my mother tells me she had a rather strange prayer session on the same night, at the same time. It was strange in that God asked her to ask HIM something. God asked her to ask Him to send her children into the ministry. Mom's reply was, "What?" So God repeated it to her, he asked her to ask him to send her children into the ministry. "Ok" my mother said. So she did.
This was a rather startling revelation for me, and I thought my mom was a little strange (I still think that, but I'm strange too, so it's ok). But I knew that when God wants you to do or learn something, he'll generally beat you over the head with it until you get it (ever heard of Jonah?). So the next Sunday I went to church, and the sermon was on . .. . the ministry! Ok, I get it already. The following Sunday, the sermon is on Saint Peter, my namesake. All right! I get it! Message received already!
So go to Pomona College (who's crest reads, "A Tribute to Christian Civilization"). I think that if I major in religion, I'll be way too specialized, and I'll get plenty of that in seminary later, so I major in government with a focus in organizational and administrative theory. My reasoning here was that if I am ever called to be a bishop, I'll have an understanding of how to make an organization run well. My decision had nothing to do with the fact that the government classes were all in the afternoon and not in the morning (that's my story and I'm sticking to it).
The funny part is, after College, I was unable to get INTO seminary because Arizona only sponsors 3 prospects per year, and I wasn't able to commit to the that process and hold a full time job at the same time. The even funnier part is that Brandi was even MORE dedicated to being a physician than I was to going to be a priest, and neither of us were able to find the right doors to open to fulfill what we thought were our callings.
But that's ok. My mother's children continue to further their ministries without any official ordinations. We learned a long time ago that you can plant a lot more seeds with people by showing them what Christianity does for you in your life. This works much better than just talking about it. Actions speak louder than words. Now don't get me wrong, when the time comes to just TALK religion, we're more than ready to 'layeth the smacketh down.' But we're far more effective at bringing someone to Christ through our actions.
Religion is a way of a life. My life is fulfilled. I could even argue it's been 'restored'. The path I was on before high school was not a righteous one. But in giving my life to God I've been granted everything anyone could want on this earth, and I'm very grateful for it. I don't always understand what God has in store for us (in fact, I'm not sure I EVER understand ahead of time), but hindsight is 20/20. I've got a wife I love and who loves me, 2 wonderful sons, a warm house with a fridge full of food, and a job I'm eager to get to everyday. I've even managed to help a few souls develop a relationship with God, so it seems my 'ministry' is alive and well.
I sure wish God would let me know ahead of time what's coming down the pipe though. Perhaps on next entry I'll share my exploration on the purpose of 'Faith'.
Pwew. I get tired just thinking about it. I found myself driving back and forth to Phoenix almost every 2 or 3 weekends, which was exhausting, and sometimes stressful as heck (my vehicles weren't very reliable, and tended to break down a lot, which in the desert is no fun). But it kept me busy doing something positive, and kept me out of the hood, so it was good.
A funny thing happened the Summer after my junior year. The day after school, I left for the Episcopal Youth Event (or EYE as we liked to call it), and got to participate in 19 hour drive to Helena Montana with 16 people in a 15 passenger van. The event was 10 days long, and was followed by the drive back. If I start getting into everything that I learned and every major event of that trip, this blog will be at least 3 times as long as all the other entries combined, so we'll just stick to 1 interesting thing.
At this event, there was a priest speaking to about 1500 of us (half of the entire attendance at the conference) about the future of the church's priesthood. He said it was a shame that we traditionally promoted our best priests to bishops. The bishop positions are mostly administrative, and less directly addressing congregations and people. Both 'tend to the flock' in their own ways of course, but the best priests get to BE the best at what they do from doing such a good job with people. Taking them away from people and putting them behind a desk seems like a terrible idea to this speaker, and he told us all about it.
When I heard this, I thought to myself. I said "Self, you tend to be good both with people and with logistics, you could probably do a good job in either capacity". Keep in mind this is happening about the same time as college applications and kids are trying to find a path for themselves in this world. This possibility seemed interesting, but unlikely, because at the time I had decided I wanted to be a judge. The fact that I would probably have to be a lawyer first was very discouraging, but I had spent a lot of time mediating disputes thought my life, and felt that my gift was to be a judge and make my living that way.
So that night I went to sleep (on my sleeping bag), and prayed as usual. Then something strange happened. I felt light. I don't know how else to describe it. I could feel a radiance in the room centered on me, and when my eyes were closed my eyelids looked gold, but when I opened my eyes I couldn't see anything different, but I could still FEEL the light. Not only that, but I could sense everything in the room. Every piece of furniture, every rug, every lightbulb, I could sense exactly where it was. It was the single strongest presence of God I've ever felt in my life, and I was totally awake.
So now I know I'm praying, and I know I'm not alone. I feel like I'm about to get a really clear message, and say in my prayer, "I'm here Lord", and I get ready for some serious direction. I'm excited and scared and everything, but I'm ready.
Nothing happens. The feeling fades after what felt like 30 mins but was probably no longer than 120 seconds in real life. So now I'm just confused. I stand up, get a glass of water, go outside and look at the stars, then go back to bed, and eventually fall asleep. Ok, whatever I think. I guess I'm not very good at listening to God yet I figure.
But when I get home, my mother tells me she had a rather strange prayer session on the same night, at the same time. It was strange in that God asked her to ask HIM something. God asked her to ask Him to send her children into the ministry. Mom's reply was, "What?" So God repeated it to her, he asked her to ask him to send her children into the ministry. "Ok" my mother said. So she did.
This was a rather startling revelation for me, and I thought my mom was a little strange (I still think that, but I'm strange too, so it's ok). But I knew that when God wants you to do or learn something, he'll generally beat you over the head with it until you get it (ever heard of Jonah?). So the next Sunday I went to church, and the sermon was on . .. . the ministry! Ok, I get it already. The following Sunday, the sermon is on Saint Peter, my namesake. All right! I get it! Message received already!
So go to Pomona College (who's crest reads, "A Tribute to Christian Civilization"). I think that if I major in religion, I'll be way too specialized, and I'll get plenty of that in seminary later, so I major in government with a focus in organizational and administrative theory. My reasoning here was that if I am ever called to be a bishop, I'll have an understanding of how to make an organization run well. My decision had nothing to do with the fact that the government classes were all in the afternoon and not in the morning (that's my story and I'm sticking to it).
The funny part is, after College, I was unable to get INTO seminary because Arizona only sponsors 3 prospects per year, and I wasn't able to commit to the that process and hold a full time job at the same time. The even funnier part is that Brandi was even MORE dedicated to being a physician than I was to going to be a priest, and neither of us were able to find the right doors to open to fulfill what we thought were our callings.
But that's ok. My mother's children continue to further their ministries without any official ordinations. We learned a long time ago that you can plant a lot more seeds with people by showing them what Christianity does for you in your life. This works much better than just talking about it. Actions speak louder than words. Now don't get me wrong, when the time comes to just TALK religion, we're more than ready to 'layeth the smacketh down.' But we're far more effective at bringing someone to Christ through our actions.
Religion is a way of a life. My life is fulfilled. I could even argue it's been 'restored'. The path I was on before high school was not a righteous one. But in giving my life to God I've been granted everything anyone could want on this earth, and I'm very grateful for it. I don't always understand what God has in store for us (in fact, I'm not sure I EVER understand ahead of time), but hindsight is 20/20. I've got a wife I love and who loves me, 2 wonderful sons, a warm house with a fridge full of food, and a job I'm eager to get to everyday. I've even managed to help a few souls develop a relationship with God, so it seems my 'ministry' is alive and well.
I sure wish God would let me know ahead of time what's coming down the pipe though. Perhaps on next entry I'll share my exploration on the purpose of 'Faith'.
Comments
I took a spiritual gifts test last week and compared to the one I took 10 years ago, life seems to have redefined what I thought the service was-- into what I can do for God right now.
So I look at life as not religious, but life as living for God. Religion seems to take on such a nasty overtone sometimes. I'd rather make it my own and say I don't live for my religion, I live for my God.